[He's silent again, slightly shocked at her words. He knows about the prices. He knows what Rei's price had been. But still, he doesn't think about them in the midst of one of his reckless moments, and it was all to easy to say, 'I can take dying' without realizing it wasn't dying, but what came after that was the real problem. And he could never escape it; he'd be stuck that way as long as he was here.
That sense of being trapped comes back, and it's so heavy and pressing, but he pushes it back. She's right; he needed to do something useful, but the drinking let him forget about all the things that threatened to crush him, just for a little while. It would, literally, drive him insane if he has to deal with it all constantly, every day.]
I don't know how. [There's a pause for a moment, before another admission.] I'm not certain I can.
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That sense of being trapped comes back, and it's so heavy and pressing, but he pushes it back. She's right; he needed to do something useful, but the drinking let him forget about all the things that threatened to crush him, just for a little while. It would, literally, drive him insane if he has to deal with it all constantly, every day.]
I don't know how. [There's a pause for a moment, before another admission.] I'm not certain I can.