flameandpassion | 78 [Video] Forwarded to the dawn.

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78 [Video] Forwarded to the dawn.

[When she had seen the image, she had thought it wasn't real. Why would she believe it? The very nature of this event was to see people die -- it was just a hallucination. A horrific, horrid, terrible hallucination, but a hallucination all the same. Still, Rei had a feeling in the very bottom of her heart that something was not right -- so she set out to find Hitsugaya. Just to make sure he was okay.

He hadn't picked up his PCD and he obviously wasn't at Juubantai house, otherwise he would have told Hinamori that it wasn't real. So Rei set out to the wall surrounding the city, to his favorite spot to sit whenever he felt upset. No Hitsugaya. She then hopped the wall and went to the Wastelands, to his favorite sparring location -- and then to the second favorite sparring location -- and then the third, the one they frequent whenever they both needed to let off some steam. Still no Hitsugaya. She checked the clinic, the dojo, the fountain in the center of town, the surrounding tall trees, and finally, she had dropped back down on the steps of the Temple of Heaven, with her PCD in her hands, to stare blankly at the ground. It's at this moment that the feed has actually started -- just Rei, on the steps, staring at nothing.

When she speaks, it isn't clear whether or not she knows it's recording -- but her voice is so quiet, and faint, and heartbroken. There are no tears or choked sobs or any of that dramatic nonsense -- but it's obvious, in the way that Rei carries herself -- the way her shoulders slump and her cheeks pale -- that she is positively devastated.]

He's actually dead, isn't he.

[Her fingers curl around the PCD and the feed shakes, ever so slightly, with the change. Her hands are shaking. And if you look carefully, it's obvious that Rei herself is trembling. Almost every single person who has been with her for as long as Hitsugaya Toushirou has been has eventually left for some period of time, but not him. He's practically indestructible. Always the one to drag her away from doing something stupid -- and sometimes the other way around -- but Rei has never had a day pass in Adstringendum where he has not been there to tell her what to do whenever it got to be too much. And now, when it's too much -- way too much -- he isn't here. Temporary or not (oh, if it isn't temporary -- no, Rei can't even consider that as a possibility, because she may very well crack), she can't quite grasp the idea that she can't pick up her PCD and call him to tell him to come over and sit with her. Even if it's silent contemplation of how badly their lives suck. Or for him to tell her to snap out of it and stop being so depressing, because not only did this happen, but Minako -- vanished. Again. And on top of that, Hitsugaya --

She closes her eyes and -- finally, tears roll down her cheeks at the motion, but she doesn't actually cry or sob. Not quite yet. That is going to be reserved for when she's alone. No, instead, she keeps speaking, and while her voice is still quiet, and still positively heartbroken and crushed, there is a fine edge of anger to it now, and it is obvious that Hino Rei knows this is broadcasting to the entire network.]

When he comes back, he's going to tell me what happened to him, and not even God can hide you from what I'll do to you. You'll be punished, and when I find out what he lost because of you, you'll be punished again. Come forward now or hide in your hole like a coward, it doesn't matter to me, but I'll find you.

[He'd do the same for her, after all.]

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[He can guess who she's speaking of after seeing the post by Hinamori. It wouldn't have been difficult to guess without it, even.

He doesn't know what to do; he's not good at this. But she's always helped him when he's lost someone, and he should return the favor; it isn't even that he logically knows he should, but that he feels he should. So he goes to find her on the steps, sitting down next to her and not speaking.]

[She's silent. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Perfectly numb -- until she starts thinking. Which is always a dangerous thing to do when you're trying not to hyperventilate and cry and panic -- because as her thoughts stray, they inevitably stray to the image she saw over the network, and her stomach lurches --

Finally, she speaks, her voice low and soft, and numb. As if she's realized something, but her heart hasn't quite caught up to it.]

If he doesn't wake up, or come back, or remember who I am, I'm going to lose it.

Edited 2011-10-26 07:35 (UTC)

[He's quiet next to her, waiting; his patience is short at times, infinite at others, and this is one of the latter. He's silent for a short time, even after she does speak, before responding quietly.]

There is no reason to believe he won't. Worry about it should it occur, not before.

[It's delivered in his usual tactless way, but he means it encouragingly. He doesn't want Rei to destroy herself stressing about something that might not happen.]

[She draws her coat a little closer around her, to give her hands something to do. She knew he was right. The likelihood of Toushirou forgetting her -- her, of all people -- is low. But what if it is? They were the ones who first organized the infiltration into the Inner City, to disturb the Animus. What if they decided to enact revenge on them just for spite?

-- she was being stupid. But she can't help it.]

I don't even know why we get along.

[It's said suddenly, as she tightens the coat a little more. There's only another pause before Rei starts talking. It's fast, and she's really just talking just to talk, but the more she talks, the thicker her words get, until by the end of it, she's trying not to cry.]

He's an idiot and stubborn and reckless and takes himself way too seriously and it's his way or no way at all and he's a jerk and we spend most of our time yelling at each other and he needs to get punched in the face on a good day and he can't take a joke and half of the time he just lectures me on stupid things that I already know because he's a captain and he knows things and --

[She sucks in a breath before she presses her head into her hands, fingers threading into her hair, before she mumbles the rest.]

I can't deal with this place without him.

[He's silent, letting her just talk; he doesn't know what to say, and he remembers when Anna left such a short time ago, how just talking itself was somehow enough. When she finishes, he looks over at her again, still not speaking for a few moments.]

You could. But likely you will not have to.

[She quite nearly laughs, but it doesn't quite make it. Toushirou would kill her if he ever heard any of this -- why would you say something so meaningless and stupid? -- but the thought of him not coming back makes her heart ache. Physically ache. And Rei tries to think of any fight she's had to fight where she didn't have to ask Hitsugaya Toushirou for help and her response comes to a big... fat zero.

She even went to Hitsugaya to ask whether or not Castiel was trustworthy. Not that Cas ever needs to know that. But she did. And he told her no. Good to know he's not infallible.

She's quiet for a moment more.]

If he's gone for half as long as you were, I'm going to kill him again when he gets back.

[He gives her a look at that comment, and his version of a shrug. As much as he doesn't like Hitsugaya, it's for minor reasons; he doesn't think the shinigami is in any way bad, and clearly he means something to Rei. So eventually he responds with a simple comment.]

I find it unlikely he would choose to be, so retribution would be unwarranted.

[Her lip twitches slightly, into a tiny smile, and she sniffs quickly and wipes her eyes.]

Unwarranted, right.

[It's quiet, and faintly amused, before she takes a deep breath, to calm her nerves.]

He made me cry, I think it's warranted.

[Castiel thinks seriously about this a moment.]

It might be.

[Sorry Hitsugaya, he's changed his mind. Making Rei cry is indeed a bad thing.]

[She snorts to herself slightly, brushing her hair out of her face with a barely there smile.]

Maybe. We'll see how I feel when he wakes up.

[He nods, then sits there next to her silently for a few minutes. At least she'd smiled, if barely.]

Is there... I'm supposed to offer something.

[What, he's not sure. Help? Condolences? He doesn't bother to guess, just telling Rei flat out he doesn't know. She'll understand.]

[She looks over at him, as he spoke, before a tired laugh escapes.]

You ask someone 'Is there anything I can do?' when someone is upset. And you're already doing it, before you ask.

[A hug and someone to listen to her is really all she needs in order to not go completely insane.]

[Oh. Okay. At least he's already helping, though, apparently.]

I will remember that.

[He says it mostly because he doesn't know what else to say in response.]

At least it's a good thing to remember.

[She pauses before leaning on his shoulder, drawing in a breath.]

Don't go near anyone dangerous this week.

I don't intend to. I have seen enough of this event.

[And he feels like he should keep an eye on her. She's stuck with him the rest of the week; he has sigil work to do anything. Screw the outdoors and the stupid gravestones.]

I think everyone has.

[She's quiet before closing her eyes.]

I talked to my mom. She looked different from how I remember her. I guess it's how she looked before she got really sick.

[He glances over at her.]

Is that good?

[He doesn't know and he can't tell; he would think it might be, but Rei certainly didn't seem pleased about the event or about her mother being here, in a way.]

She shouldn't be here. It's wrong.

[Pause.]

But it was nice to say hi, I guess. Even if it wasn't real.

[He's quiet again at that.]

I haven't tried speaking with one of the hallucinations.

[But now, he's tempted. One in particular comes to his mind; his brother, Uriel. Things are so different now, and Castiel wonders, truly, why Uriel had done what he'd done. Maybe he'd understand if he had a chance to listen, even if he didn't agree.]

There isn't a point. They're just hallucinations.

[She tilts her head slightly to look up at him, with a frown.]

They can't tell you anything except what you think they would say. Or what you want them to say. They're a projection of your head.

If that's indeed all they are.

[Because if they could be showed things that hadn't happened yet, and those things turned out to be real, who's to say the hallucinations couldn't be accurate, at the least?

You just told me you weren't going to go near anyone dangerous this week.

[Rei's voice is quiet.

That includes the Animus, tyvm.]

Hallucinations aren't dangerous.

[He's quiet too, but he's curious. And he wonders if this might not be worth the chance that it's real.]

Then you've never had one.

[They could drive someone insane.]

Don't go near the fog anymore. Please.

[He gives her kind of a snippy look for that, but lets it go. He's much more concerned with her last statement.

He wants to just agree and not cause her any more stress, but at the same time... The temptation is so great. There are some other tombstones he wants to visit, deaths he heard about but never saw, gravestones for some who should still be alive. And he wants to find out why.]

I'll be careful, Rei.

78 [Video] Forwarded to the dawn.

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