flameandpassion | 78 [Video] Forwarded to the dawn.

[When she had seen the image, she had thought it wasn't real. Why would she believe it? The very nature of this event was to see people die -- it was just a hallucination. A horrific, horrid, terrible hallucination, but a hallucination all the same. Still, Rei had a feeling in the very bottom of her heart that something was not right -- so she set out to find Hitsugaya. Just to make sure he was okay.

He hadn't picked up his PCD and he obviously wasn't at Juubantai house, otherwise he would have told Hinamori that it wasn't real. So Rei set out to the wall surrounding the city, to his favorite spot to sit whenever he felt upset. No Hitsugaya. She then hopped the wall and went to the Wastelands, to his favorite sparring location -- and then to the second favorite sparring location -- and then the third, the one they frequent whenever they both needed to let off some steam. Still no Hitsugaya. She checked the clinic, the dojo, the fountain in the center of town, the surrounding tall trees, and finally, she had dropped back down on the steps of the Temple of Heaven, with her PCD in her hands, to stare blankly at the ground. It's at this moment that the feed has actually started -- just Rei, on the steps, staring at nothing.

When she speaks, it isn't clear whether or not she knows it's recording -- but her voice is so quiet, and faint, and heartbroken. There are no tears or choked sobs or any of that dramatic nonsense -- but it's obvious, in the way that Rei carries herself -- the way her shoulders slump and her cheeks pale -- that she is positively devastated.]

He's actually dead, isn't he.

[Her fingers curl around the PCD and the feed shakes, ever so slightly, with the change. Her hands are shaking. And if you look carefully, it's obvious that Rei herself is trembling. Almost every single person who has been with her for as long as Hitsugaya Toushirou has been has eventually left for some period of time, but not him. He's practically indestructible. Always the one to drag her away from doing something stupid -- and sometimes the other way around -- but Rei has never had a day pass in Adstringendum where he has not been there to tell her what to do whenever it got to be too much. And now, when it's too much -- way too much -- he isn't here. Temporary or not (oh, if it isn't temporary -- no, Rei can't even consider that as a possibility, because she may very well crack), she can't quite grasp the idea that she can't pick up her PCD and call him to tell him to come over and sit with her. Even if it's silent contemplation of how badly their lives suck. Or for him to tell her to snap out of it and stop being so depressing, because not only did this happen, but Minako -- vanished. Again. And on top of that, Hitsugaya --

She closes her eyes and -- finally, tears roll down her cheeks at the motion, but she doesn't actually cry or sob. Not quite yet. That is going to be reserved for when she's alone. No, instead, she keeps speaking, and while her voice is still quiet, and still positively heartbroken and crushed, there is a fine edge of anger to it now, and it is obvious that Hino Rei knows this is broadcasting to the entire network.]

When he comes back, he's going to tell me what happened to him, and not even God can hide you from what I'll do to you. You'll be punished, and when I find out what he lost because of you, you'll be punished again. Come forward now or hide in your hole like a coward, it doesn't matter to me, but I'll find you.

[He'd do the same for her, after all.]

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... [He's not sure what to say to that. Allen has seen so much death and destruction of people he loves...it's difficult.]

Rei, he'll be back. All you can do right now is keep moving forward and be there when he returns.

I've never not had him around.

[That's what's really getting her. She knows he'll be back. And she knows he'll be fine. But he's not here when she needs him to be here, and that is someone's fault.]

... I can't sit in that room with his dead body.

No one said you had to, and you shouldn't. Falling into the depths of despair won't help you and he wouldn't want that, would he?

... no. He wouldn't.

[But someone needs to be in that room with him.]

I can sit vigil with you when you do. [He reaches out to touch her hands.] No one should be alone at a time like this, Rei.

[She lets him touch her hands, but doesn't actually apply any pressure.]

... it wasn't Lucifer.

[And she looks at him, uncertain.]

Was it?

[For the first time, Allen's mask of a smile completely shatters. There's pain there, pain that wove back to his beginnings and he drops her hand as if he were burned.

Always suspected as the source of trouble.

Seed of Chaos...

The smile that covers it all is significantly strained.

The rattle of chains as he struggled to stay awake. The hard set of his jaw as he wondered how it all went so wrong...]

I'd have told you immediately if it was.

[She's quiet, as Allen lets go of her hands. It's always her first thought, when someone close to her is injured or killed. Lucifer. He's made no secret of how he would rip her family apart to teach her a lesson. And, as she listens to Allen, she realizes that that's her problem.

She's terrified.

When Rei finally speaks, it's quiet, and almost sad.]

...I'm sorry.

[He looks down at the wooden floor under them. Away from her.] I am too.

... I would have said yes, too.

[It's quiet, and barely there, and it takes a lot to even say it. But she does.

Even if it's about a month late.]

[Allen jerks his head up and his jaw works before his expression smooths out to a tired smile. His hands lift from the floor to gently enfold hers and he leans close to her, shoulder to shoulder.]

I know. We do what we feel is best. Not just out of kindness, or some desire to make it all right. Because that's how we feel alive.

[Allen's hands were bizarre. Mainly because Rei can feel his Innocence. But it isn't a bad feeling, necessarily, and she allows her hands to be held, and for Allen to lean against her, and she listens carefully before glancing toward the floor.]

I don't feel that way anymore.

[And she looks at him, still uncertain. She isn't a leader. She's a soldier. She does what she has to do and as she's told, most of the time, despite her independence and her attitude. And when things get to be overwhelming, she tries to soldier through it and do what she must, but sometimes, the cogs get stuck. And she requires that order. Or a hint. Something.]

I try to do what's right and it gets people killed.

[He looks at her, and shuts his eyes quietly.]

Are you sure? ...but, I can understand it. All it seems like I do is get people killed. [His master, his foster father, Alma.]

If I look at it that way though, that's taking responsibility for a lot of people who make their own decisions just like I make mine.

But, no matter what if we're not walking forward, we're not going anywhere.

I'll never stop.

[That much is said with the barest trace of her familiar conviction.]

But it gets harder to remember.

Then just keep striding forward that much harder. [He smiles at her, determined and proud.] It will be okay again one day.

78 [Video] Forwarded to the dawn.

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