flameandpassion | 36 [Voice]

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36 [Voice]

Riku's PCD is offline.

[She sounds oddly... calm about the news, but those that know her well know that it's getting to her. First Makoto vanishes, then Rhode vanishes, making Tyki unstable, and now Riku.

Especially Riku. Because Rei knows what's lying in store for him when he returns home.

There's a quiet pause, as if she's about to continue with what she's going to say, before she shuts off her PCD.]

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... good. I'm glad you helped him.

[She may be pissed at him, but he shouldn't suffer like that.]

[He takes a deep breath, worrying at his bottom lip before turning his attention away from her.]

I want to go with you.

You can't.

[It's a quiet response.]

I could. If you really wanted me to.

I don't want anyone to go with me.

[If it were up to her, she'd do it so that no one else would be in danger, but she made the mistake of talking about the plan with Hitsugaya Toushirou. That put an end to that.]

And... the plans have been made. Adding more people would only put more people in danger. You can't go.

Yeah. But they are.

[And now he knows exactly where he sits with her. And it hurts. Like a clawing deep in his chest that he knows he'll never be rid of.]

Thank you for having so much trust in me.

[There were many things in his life he regretted saying, but nothing so much as he regretted this. He had been waiting for the perfect time to say those words to her, ever since before their fight at Christmas. And now... he wasn't sure what love was worth without trust. Little, that much he was sure of.]

I'll talk to you when you get back.

That isn't it!

[And, for once, Rei sounds legitimately angry.]

I'm so tired of people pulling this -- this passive aggressive tone with me whenever I try to do something to help! Do you want to know what happened, the last time people invaded the Inner City, Cloud? People died. Do you really think I want my friends to go inside that city or be anywhere around it when Ulquiorra and I go inside? It isn't about trust, it's about the fact that Hitsugaya and Usagi aren't going to leave, and I've already gotten enough flack from Saturn about acting alone and endangering the princess and I'm tired of it!

[She stops for a moment, startled at the sudden outburst, before she presses her hands against her forehead. She's trying not to cry.]

... I didn't tell you because I knew you would want to go with me and I'm telling you that you can't for your own good. If you want to help, stay here and help the city if anything escapes.

No, it's because you think it's what's best for me. I already told you, you don't get to decide what I risk my life for.

And if you're so worried about me leaving then why are you still here with me?

[Except he's not Saturn. He could care less if the rest of the Senshi were involved or not. It wasn't about them. He was a part of a group of his own, and despite Avalanche being a tight unit, they still fought on their own, because they had to be able to take care of themselves.]

You want me to stay here and protect the city? Fine. But don't get pissed off at me the next time I almost die trying to protect what I care about.

[She doesn't say anything for a long moment.]

... because everyone leaves in the end, Cloud.

[And her voice breaks, for the slightest moment. Ami has already left once. Makoto is gone. Riku is gone. Matsumoto left Hitsugaya. Aerith has left before. Even Aizen, the supposedly all-powerful shinigami, vanished without a trace.]

It doesn't matter who you are or how powerful you are. Everyone leaves in the end, in this place. And it's worth it, even if you leave tomorrow, to keep the memories and moments I do have.

[She pauses for a moment before continuing, and while her voice remains strong, it's a lot quieter.]

I told you because I love you, and I meant that. But some things I have to do by myself. Just like you have to do some things by yourself.

This infiltration is one of those things.

I know that, Rei. And one day, one of us is going to leave, and the other will be left behind. We both knew what could happen when we started this.

The point is that you're worth it to me. Even if you left tomorrow, and I never saw you again, you'd still be worth it.

[He hated hearing that softness in her voice, the way it broke, even as she tried to keep it strong. Why was he so set on fighting her on this?

Oh, right, because he really didn't want to have to go collect her body and sit by it until she woke up, hoping that when she did, she'd still have her memories of him and their time together.]

I know that. But... did you really expect me to be okay with this after telling me something like that?

No. I didn't.

[She wipes her eyes stubbornly, her jawline setting. Enough. She wasn't a child.

Except she was. She was a fifteen year old kid, gifted with the responsibility to hold up a world, and her responsibilities carry over to this world, and to constantly feel useless, over and over --

Yeah. She's going to hug you now, Cloud.]

[He's a little shocked, at first, to feel her arms wrap around him, but it fades soon after. Sometimes, it was easy to forget that she was so much younger than he was. She had been forced to deal with so many things, and she was still so young. At least he had been an adult when the events had occurred that forced him to fight for the protection of his world.

His arms wrapped around her, tightly, comfortingly, as he pulls her closer, leaning down to press a kiss to her hair, before allowing his chin to rest on top of her head. How was he supposed to let her go off on what could very well turn out to be a suicide mission now?]

Don't cry, Rei.

[That's because, half of the time, she acts so much older. Because she has to act so much older. It's really Usagi that brings out Rei's true self, who keeps her grounded, sane, even, from the horrors of the world they regularly have to face.

She doesn't say anything for a moment, her breathing even and slow, before she speaks. It's muffled, but she speaks.]

Promise me that you're going to stay away, Cloud.

[He knows, because he's the same way when it comes to Tifa. And with out here, it's like there's nothing keeping him sane, keeping his feet firmly planted on the ground.

Except for Rei.

Her words cause him to sigh, his head turning as he stares off into the distance, as if he looked long enough, time would warp itself some how, and it would show that this was a time after, and that the Rei he was holding was still as safe and warm and whole as she was now.]

I can't promise you that. [If she was hurt, he would go to her. That was just how it was.] But... I'll only come if you need me.

[She's quiet for a long moment before nodding.]

... if I can't send you a message. [Rei closes her eyes for a moment to exhale.] ... when Toushirou releases his bankai, as strong as it can go, it controls the weather. If you see storm clouds around the Inner City, then you'll know something went wrong.

[Which meant he wouldn't be coming to help her, he'd be coming to carry her body back.

He let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, before pulling away from her lightly. Lifting his arm, he pulled back the sleeve of his coat and the shirt he wore underneath, exposing the bracer that was kept there. Carefully, he popped out a bright green ball, holding the orb carefully, before offering it to her.]

It's called Curaga. You put it against the wound you want to heal, and concentrate your energy into it and focus it outwards. Take it with you. Just in case.

[She blinks before taking the orb gingerly, as if she were afraid of breaking it. She could feel the energy in it and she cupped it in her hands, watching it.

Rei smiles a little.]

... thank you. I'll keep it on me when I go.

[He only nods, because really, what is he supposed to say? Be careful? It would sound empty and hollow and neither of them deserve that.

So instead he wraps his arms around her once more, pulling her in tightly, and for the first time, his own voice is soft, gentle, as if it's on the verge of breaking.]

Please come back safe.

I will.

[She squeezes him tightly.]

I promise.

[And she means it. Ulquiorra, Usagi, and Hitsugaya will not allow her to die. Which, to her, hurts more than dying itself, but she is reluctant to think about it.]

[You're not allowed to die, Rei. Get over it.

The squeeze is more reassuring than the words, and he leans in, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, before whispering against the skin.]

I love you.

[She knows, she knows.]

I love you too.

[It's muffled but it's there.]

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