flameandpassion | 67 [Text]

67 [Text]

Six full days.

[Six days since their powers left. Six days since Rei has felt aura. Six days since Rei has lost the powerful inner senshi within her. Six days since she let that stupid candle burn her.

Six days since Rei has wanted to go to the Inner City and take her abilities back.

Only one more day until Rei knows whether or not this is a normal event or whether or not it is, truly, a punishment.

You can call her on it if you want. Whether or not she'll be extraordinarily talkative is entirely up to you. But she isn't quite done yet.]

[Filtered to Lucifer // Private // Unhackable]

This event is still going. You're still mortal. You should keep in mind that I've been a normal human for a lot longer than you have.

Touch anyone in this city again and I'll take advantage of it.

[Filtered to Gabriel // Private // Unhackable]

I'm thinking I should open a half-way house called 'Victims of Lucifer' and register it as a non-profit charity so I can get paid for the amount of stress I go through.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No. I want the same thing Castiel does. The exact same thing--the only difference is I also want our Father to take accountability for what He did to us.

You have no idea what Castiel wants or needs.

[It's a harsh hiss.]

Don't you dare try to tell me that you want the same things when I know you don't.

Do you claim to know what I want, Rei? And don't listen to the Good Book. It lies.

[She's silent, for a moment, with a positively livid expression. Because she knows -- or, at least, she thinks she does. And if she says it, it's only proving Lucifer right. That he and Castiel do really want the same things.

But it's the how -- it's the why -- it's the motivation -- ]

You want your family to love you again.

[It's practically spit out.]

And you want the war to end.

[Hearing her say it should make him more smug, more victorious. But it doesn't. It just makes him seem colder and more withdrawn. More isolated.

Like Castiel, but wiser, more experienced.]

You forgot free will.

So the next time you accuse me of lying about being like my brother, think about what you're saying about him. Do not accuse him of acting with anything but the best intentions. We do want the same things, Rei. Even if, right now, he still believes there is a more peaceful way to get it. Just like I did.

[The smallest hesitation; he doesn't look defeated. Just resigned.] You and Michael proved me wrong about that. I wonder which of us will destroy Castiel's naivete? Raphael? Me? You, again? He does listen to you so closely...and you are trying to convince him that I hate him. That when I Fell, I wasn't thinking of what would happen to him and all the others.

[The last sentence gets a twist of disgust, not quite a sneer--Lucifer is too kind in his expressions for sneering.]

You're manipulating him and his loneliness because you can. Do you seriously think that I believe that every single word you say to him isn't constructed to make him like you? Like I haven't seen you do the same thing to everyone else here? I'm not a fool. He might eat everything you say, but I won't. I refuse to.

[She narrows her eyes.]

Castiel began with the best intentions and made stupid mistakes. You began with the best intentions, made stupid mistakes, and are continuing to make those stupid mistakes because you are too stubborn to admit that humanity and what's been born of it is worth keeping around.

Castiel isn't going to make same mistakes again -- because there is always a more peaceful way. And he's going to find it.

[No. There isn't. She lost that naivete a long time ago. And when Rei has visions, they always come true. Always. But in her vision, with Castiel the way he is -- there has to be another way. There has to be. Rei has to believe as much, that Castiel is not going to become that monster, because he believes it so fiercely. It's cruel, to believe and tell him otherwise.]

I'm not going to take that belief away from him.

You shouldn't lie to me, I can still tell when you do, Rei.

Sometimes, war is the only way to get a resolution. As much as you and I may wish it weren't so...it is.

And no, Rei, I'm not being stubborn. There is nothing about humanity that's worth keeping. All of your good qualities are traits that existed in my brothers and sisters. And all of your bad ones... [A soft chuckle] I don't even have to tempt most of you to destroy yourselves, the perfect planet you were given, your children. You just do it.

Sometimes it is.

[Rei is the senshi of war, after all. She would be stupid to deny that.]

But that doesn't mean it is here. And I won't let him think any differently.

[She doesn't bother defending humanity. She knows the truth. She fights, fiercely, to protect humanity from any and all darkness and chaos. Lucifer is stupid to underestimate them all. Let that be his weakness and downfall. Rei doesn't particularly care.]

[It takes him a very brief pause to answer; he has no patience right now and it's so hard to rein in his reactions.]

I don't want to fight. I don't want to fight him. I don't want the war.

Then what do you want.

[It's spoken harshly, between clenched teeth. He isn't making sense.]

[So many things that he knows she would understand, if she'd just listen. So many things he can't put into words. And the rote replies that he normally phrases so delicately, he just can't right now. He's had a week of mortality and exactly thirty minutes of sleep the whole time--and somehow that managed to cram in a few thousand years' worth of memories of being burned alive in Hell.]

I want to go home.

[He says it harshly, quietly, dripping with bitterness. He doesn't mean he wants to escape Adstringendum. He wants to go home--back to when things made an ounce of sense. But it makes it easier to shove down the other responses. Instantly it's easier to feel more in control, because he laughs.]

But I didn't find any ruby slippers, so I guess I'll just stay here. [And continue on, forever.]

You don't have a choice in whether or not you stay.

[It's quiet, harsh, bitter. Every ounce mirror Lucifer's precise tone. Because Rei feels constant struggle within her, every single day. Usagi constantly telling her that everyone belongs home, Rei feeling, more and more every day, that she doesn't want to leave her family here. The conflict, between being a senshi and being a soldier to protect Adstringendum, the constant battle of wanting her memory, what is hers.]

Everyone leaves.

[And then, Rei's tone becomes abruptly thicker, as if something is caught in her throat. It is a lump of tears. But Lucifer doesn't need to know or see that.]

Everyone forgets.

[The briefest pause, before Rei snarls out the rest.]

Good luck finding a way to stop that.

[And the feed ends abruptly.]

Edited 2011-07-20 06:49 (UTC)

[But there's a text, shortly after. He wouldn't have bothered usually--at least, he doesn't think he would have. He can't foresee what will happen one way or the other and he might as well try to avoid misunderstandings now.]

That wasn't what I meant.

But you're right. Everyone forgets. All the peace I want to make with my brothers here won't matter.

[There is a long silence. Ten minutes. Twenty. Half an hour. An hour.

Until, finally, Lucifer gets a text in response.]

No. It won't.

But Castiel doesn't need to know that.

[After all, you cannot change Fate.]

[And then it's his turn for silence. He wonders, deeply for once, just what he would give up to have peace with his brothers. He had thought all along that he might give up and rule heaven with Michael--forget the Apocalypse. They'd find God together. They'd be happy.

But he knows now, thanks to Rei, it will never happen.]

No, he doesn't.

So give him the chance to have peace with me. Whether you like it or not, I am the only one who truly understands him.

[She hates this. Every bone in her body hates this. Every piece of intuition Rei has is screaming at her to ignore him, to stop, to just leave it alone.

But she can't.]

I do understand him. Far better than most of you ever will.

He's going to do what he wants. Whatever I tell him isn't going to change his mind. I don't know why you think I have this huge influence over him when I don't.

You influence him more than you know. But then again, you think I'm the one swaying him, and I'm not.... It's possible neither of us are.

You seriously believe I influence him more than you do.

He hates me as much as you do. Do I influence you, Rei?

You influence me to lock my doors every night.

And I influence him to make sigils.

[Well, that much is true. Her ribs still feel funny, even if she can't feel the runes anymore.]

He doesn't listen to half of what I say. If he did, he wouldn't be speaking with you in the first place.

[Though... Castiel had asked Gabriel for an opinion, because Rei had seemed so upset. He had worked to find a solution, after he had calmed down, after Rei had told him it was a bad decision. He had listened when Rei yelled at him not to give up after his grace was removed. And he had worked, so hard, at Rei's insistence, to adapt to being mortal as quickly as possible so he could keep fighting.

What if Lucifer was actually right.

Rei isn't sure whether or not she feels comforted or crushed with a sudden new responsibility.

Or both.]

Half is better than none.

And you know he wants peace. He can't have that without me. None of them can.

I am not going to tell him to trust someone that has done nothing but make his life miserable since he got here in order to find peace.

You don't need to. Nothing will make him trust me--none of us trust each other, Rei.

But give him a chance for peace.

67 [Text]

[Video // Same filter]

[Video // Same filter]

[Video // Same filter]

[Video // Same filter]

[Video // Same filter]

[Video // Same filter]

[Video // Same filter]

[Video // Same filter]

[Video // Same filter]

[Video // Same filter]

Re: [Video // Same filter]

[Video // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]

[Text // Same filter]