flameandpassion | 73 [Video]

Entry tags:

73 [Video]

[Rei is sitting on the floor, her knees to her chest. Her back is pressed against an invisible wall -- a chamber, of sorts, made out of energy. She is perfectly still, breathing slow and even, her eyes fixated on whatever is in front of her.

The feed continues this way for five minutes, then ten -- and still, Rei does not move, save for her fingers moving in tiny intricate designs upon her legs. She doesn't even blink. Her expression is completely blank and neutral, devoid of emotion.

Finally, the priestess speaks, and her tone is perfectly even. She does not look at the camera.]

I know what you did. I saw it. You can hide as long as you want, but I'll find out. I'm not going to stop looking until I know the truth. He deserves more dignity than what you gave him.

[She is silent for a moment or two more before she inhales deeply.]

I need to speak to Sam and Dean Winchester. And Raven. In person.

[Another pause.]

...I'm fine now.

[Four hours of solid meditation works wonder for the anger of hellfire.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[There's a brief hesitation before she inclines her head towards the camera.]

I'm stuck in a cage.

[... with the tiniest ounce of dryness attached.]

[Rolling her eyes off to the side, she sighed.]

I'd show the prisoner a little more sympathy if she didn't earn it.

I never said I didn't.

[Pause.]

... I'm sorry, for what I did to you.

[There was visible shock on her face. It was difficult to hide it. Did Rei just apologize to her?]

...did you just apologize to me?

[She was stunned.]

[It was difficult to say. Every single fiber of Rei's being screamed at her that she didn't need to apologize. After all, Jinx had stabbed her in the back first.

... or, well, that was what Rei had believed.

She averts her eyes.]

I misjudged you and I shouldn't have attacked you.

Why wouldn't I apologize?

[Rei actually realized that she had done something wrong? Who was she and what had she done with the self-righteous Asian nun. Awkwardly, Jinx shifted, resisting all urges to rub it all back in her face.

No, have more tact than that, girl. The time out was actually working. Support the process.]

While you're at it, am I going to get a thank you for saving your life? Twice?

[Yeah, she wasn't good with tact.]

[That -- is pushing it. Humiliated and heartbroken as Rei is, she is still a soldier -- and acknowledging that Jinx did something to save her life -- by joining the enemy's side -- is something she can't quite rationalize. But, rationality and logic weren't her strong points, anyway, and so Rei went with her intuition.]

...

Thanks.

[This time, her expression wasn't shock. Her shoulders fell and her eyes softened. Slumping down further into the tub, she watched Rei quietly for a minute or so.]

Next time, we'll have tea at your place. You can show me how to make it right.

[There's a long silence from Rei, as she stares intently at the ground, before she speaks. It's an odd tone -- it's not happy, but it's not sad. It's -- absent.]

Cas used the rest of the tea I had to help me recover.

I have to find more leaves.

[There's a lot of pauses in this conversation. A lot of figuring out the right things to say.]

Do you think he'll come back?

[There's a short, bitter laugh -- it comes out as more of a scoff than anything else, but there's no happiness in it.]

If he doesn't, then he's gone home, and the Castiel I know won't exist anymore.

[It's a fate worse than death. Considering it made her sick.]

-- so he'll have to come back. Or I'm going to have to go get him.

[She groans. It's loud and exaggerated.]

He'd better come back. I don't want to have to go get him.

Neither do I.

[Going into their world to get him back, to change their fate? Impossible. Or -- well, it hadn't been done, Rei amends silently to herself. But going into his future, to pull him back from the brink of insanity --

Rei had already done it once. She wasn't sure she could do it again.

She's silent again -- minutes, this time, and her fingers dig into her knees before she finally spits it out. Quietly -- and horrifically sad.]

... ... he loses his mind.

In his future. He goes insane.

[Her voice is soft when she talks again.]

Is that the secret you've been keeping?

Is that why Lucifer and Rolanda ripped out Castiel's grace?

["No," Rei wants to say, "the secret is why." But Rei can't quite bring herself to say it -- Castiel becomes God -- because that makes it final. A possible future, that's what Castiel kept insisting, but Rei was faced with yet another vision that had come true. Possible futures bleeding into certain futures -- it made her physically ill.]

I saw a vision of it, of him -- and he's not himself. He lost everything that he ever was. He turns into a monster. They tore out his Grace so he wouldn't be a threat to anyone, even though he didn't -- he didn't even know what I was talking about, and it isn't as if the idiot can lie. He wanted to change things so badly that he just --

[Rei releases a breath she didn't know she was holding.]

... he can't go home.

[What was she expected to say to all that? Meditate with Rei about how the future isn't set in stone? Yeah, because that went well the first two times.

As she thinks, she awkwardly fiddles with the knobs on the tub. The ice cold water trickles slowly into the drain while she chews on her bottom lip. Finally, she shuts the water off, takes a breath, and dives in.]

Life would be a lot easier if everyone knew exactly what to do. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. I know. Better than a lot of people. That night when you...

[She looks away from her PCD.] I honestly thought I was doing the right thing, and I was doing it for the both of you. When you care so much it makes you stupid you end up doing really, really stupid things and--

[She stopped herself.]

Castiel will come back, okay?

[The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. She wondered if that were true. She supposed -- if you cared to look at it that way. But no matter how hard Rei tried, no matter how hard Rei worked, she could not see Lucifer differently. She had come close -- several times -- but he is an enemy. He will always be an enemy. He would always be the enemy. No matter how many times Castiel tried to tell her that changing him was the key to saving his world. She couldn't find it in her to believe him.

But she had told him, when he was upset, that he should never allow anyone to tell him not to try to change his future, even Rei herself. He had agreed, seriously, as always, to tell her that she was wrong at every given opportunity. What made this any different? She may believe one thing -- he obviously believed another -- and Jinx seemed to, as well -- and all Rei could do was hope that she was wrong.

She's silent, for a very long moment, before she forces a faint smile.]

I know he will.

[After that, she doesn't really know what to say. She shifts awwkardly in the tub until she takes the time to actually lay down in it. Her feet played absently with the faucet.]

...you owe me new boots.

You owe me a new jaw.

[BEING PUNCHED HURT, BITCH.]

Deal with it.

Please. That wasn't even close to full strength.

Whatever you say.

[She pauses.]

-- are you recovered?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

73 [Video]

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private

video; private