Hino Rei (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
flameandpassion) wrote2011-08-28 02:13 pm
flameandpassion) wrote2011-08-28 02:13 pm
74 [Voice]
[There's a silence, for a long moment -- before Rei finally works up the nerve to say something. She sounds tired.]
It's getting a lot harder to keep believing everything has a purpose in this place.
[There's a long rush of air as Rei exhales.]
It's almost as if the Animus don't want us here -- but if that's true, then why have I been here for over a year? Why have some people been here longer? What makes some of us different?
-- if anyone's got any ideas, I'd love to hear them.
[The only people Rei would need to tell, about Haruka vanishing, would be the senshi themselves. And the senshi, being the senshi, already know. So why repeat something painful?
But all the same, she seems to want to say more -- before she ends the feed.]
It's getting a lot harder to keep believing everything has a purpose in this place.
[There's a long rush of air as Rei exhales.]
It's almost as if the Animus don't want us here -- but if that's true, then why have I been here for over a year? Why have some people been here longer? What makes some of us different?
-- if anyone's got any ideas, I'd love to hear them.
[The only people Rei would need to tell, about Haruka vanishing, would be the senshi themselves. And the senshi, being the senshi, already know. So why repeat something painful?
But all the same, she seems to want to say more -- before she ends the feed.]
[voice//private//unhackable]
No one in this hell hole can do a damn thing about it except to make it a worse hell for everyone else.
It only frustrates him more that he can't just let it go. Comfort her, because she obviously needs it. The only thing he can ever do for Hino is yell at her because he doesn't know how else to get through that he doesn't have a fucking clue either. That he would love to just open up the space-time continuum and grant all her wishes, but he can't. And she can't. And no one can. And if she actually goes after Kurotsuchi, he quits because this is just not worth it.]
No one can expect you to fix this place, Hino! You are a teenage girl who just so happens to be able to see visions of the future and parade around in a mini-skirt that gives you power over fire. What. The hell. Are you supposed to fix except your own damn mistakes? You seem so confident that half the wretched population sees you as some sort of miracle worker, and you're starting to think that way too!
You are not some shining savior who can magically make everything right, Hino! You will never be good enough!
[voice//private//unhackable]
Somewhere, in the back of her head, Rei faintly realizes that she's never had to assure herself of that -- that it's nonsense, he doesn't actually mean most of that. But it's a hell of a lot harder to say it when it's yourself you're attempting to convince.
Weirdly, what hurts the most is the description of herself. No, Rei can deal with being told she won't ever be good enough. She can even deal with the gross slight against her pride -- those are meaningless, superficial wounds that she can slide underneath the rug and deal with whenever she wants to. But what causes her to pause, what prevents her from yelling back, is what Hitsugaya says she is.
Oh, you're some teenage girl who has some special ability. So what. Deal with it.
As if it weren't her entire life's purpose. As if she hadn't fought, tooth and nail, to live up to her destiny. As if she hadn't died for it.
Twice.
That causes her to fall perfectly silent. There isn't much to say, on her end. Part of her wants to yell back. But the majority of her can't quite find the words to argue with him.]
[voice//private//unhackable] --> [video attachment]
Her silence hits hard and completely throws him off, skewing his frustration. When someone doesn't react, he loses all sense of how to respond himself. It's a problem that has made countless arguments much worse in the past, especially where Sasuke's been concerned. How can he say anything to help if he doesn't know what the hell needs to be helped?
Aggravation mounting, he ends the feed after a bit of silence. It's about ten minutes later that he sends her a familiar video recording. If what he's saying isn't helping, maybe something she herself has said will.]
[video attachment] 1/2
[She almost wants to just delete it. But, because it's Toushirou, Rei squashes down her pride to open it, watching the conversation play it. It takes a moment or so for her to place it -- it was ages ago, when Madara kidnapped Sasuke. It almost makes her smile, but it doesn't quite get there.
He doesn't mean seventy-five percent of what he says when he's angry. -- and, thinking back, and dissecting what he yelled at her -- ]
[Text // Private // Unhackable]
Meet me at [x,y] in an hour so I can hit you.
[Text // Private // Unhackable]
Of course.
[Text // Private // Unhackable]
Good. Don't be late.